• Brave Little Hitachi Wand
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    382 years ago

    I like to play a game where I try to ask in the worst way that will get a yes.

    Current high score: “I want to kiss and hug you naked squishy-style”.

  • @[email protected]
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    342 years ago

    The wife has a penchant for taking off her underwear and throwing them as hard as she can at me. They are light, so I don’t mind.

  • @[email protected]
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    282 years ago

    We’ve been together 16 years, married for 14, and we are like two teenagers who have been left alone by an inattentive parent or teacher. If we are in arm’s reach we are touching each other, if nobody is looking, we are making out, if the door is locked, we’re either undressed or we’re working on it.

  • m-p{3}
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    272 years ago

    With Frank’s quote from It’s Always Sunny and Philadephia

    I got my magnum condoms and a wad of hundreds; I’m ready to plow!

  • @[email protected]
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    26
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    2 years ago

    “Hungry? Would you like some sausage? I have cheese sausage for you” (Never works but it’s funny)

    “Got two minutes” (works more often than you’d think but it’s normally expected to only be 2-5 minutes)

    “What are you up to tonight? Do you want to come over to my side of the bed?” *wink (after having a king size bed I will NEVER go back)

  • @[email protected]
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    2 years ago

    Married. A look, even indirect, is enough for her to know exactly what I think about. It’s scary when she asks me if I’m hungry before I realized that I was (must have been passingly looking over to the kitchen/snacks without even realizing it). If i look at her boobs for 2 seconds she knows, even while looking in another direction/at a phone. It’s kind of scary. I guess I am really obvious without knowing it. I do sometimes wonder if she can read my mind.

  • BrainisfineIthink
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    212 years ago

    “I’m kinda horny”

    “Should we bone tonight?”

    “When do you wanna have sex”

    “Hold on let me brush my teeth”

    These area a few of our regulars!

    • Voyager
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      32 years ago

      Why not approach indirectly like complimenting her legs, whispering “I want you” in her ear. These often work for me, and even if it doesn’t, it gets the mood between us so that we can foreplay and cuddle.

  • @[email protected]
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    162 years ago

    “You want to bang?”

    “Is it bang time?”

    Any number of variations with “bang” included.