I know this is gonna sound like the “Where exactly, so I can avoid it” meme, but I’m sincerely trying to avoid it.

I am pretty physically active, and get massage every six months or so. I have a massage therapist I usually go to, but every once in a while it’s an emergency and my go-to is booked up, so I get a sketchy strip mall massage.

About half the time it ends with a happy ending attempt. Not that I’m against the concept, but I refuse to pay for sexual contact on principle. Also that cuts into the time spent on the actual massage I came in for, and pressures me into a huge tip for something I don’t actually want.

At the same time, I don’t want to assume. It seems pretty rude to start off with “I know you’re gonna wanna give me a handjob but I’m not interested”. So is there some kind of standard “initiation” ritual that I can turn down when it comes up?

  • bizarroland@lemmy.worldEnglish
    681·
    7 天前

    I get a non-happy ending massage about once every three to six months, just depending on whenever the tension has built up enough.

    I tried out a new place that was just called Thai Massage that I literally pass by every day on my way home from work and when I walked in I had sketch vibes right from the beginning.

    I figured, what the heck? I don’t know. The place does look a little rundown, but it was $60 for an hour, and they required that I pay in cash, and that should have been my clue to turn around and leave.

    But I said fuck it, I actually had the cash on hand, so I paid the $60 up front and stripped down to my undies and laid there on the bed and the lady walked in and she was a relatively attractive 50-ish year old Thai lady and she just laid her hands directly on my genitals and said, “You like?”

    I quickly told her, no thank you, I just wanted a regular massage.

    She gave me a very lackluster regular massage that only took like 35 minutes.

    Disappointing all the way around probably should have taken the hand job instead, honestly.

    • agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.worksOP
      2·
      7 天前

      Wait like right up front? What I’m talking about is like 3/4 of the way through, after you’ve flipped over. Did you start face up? I always start face down.

      • bizarroland@lemmy.worldEnglish
        1·
        7 天前

        I was going to turn face down when she showed up but she took a minute getting into the room so I was just waiting.

  • HotDayBreeze@lemmy.world
    58·
    8 天前

    There’s some clear clues on which venues are happy ending parlors.

    • Avoid places with completely curtained windows. At least the lobby area should be visible to the public.

    • Seek out places that refer to “massage therapists”. Avoid “masseuse” or “massage parlor”.

    • The “crystal healing” “sound bath” hippy dippy places might try to sell you mushrooms but they are less likely to grab your dick.

    • Avoid cash only places, they are trying to hide paper trails. Even if you’re paying out of pocket, any place that accepts insurance isn’t offering a “secret menu” .

    • Low stated prices might mean they get by on big handy-based tips. They’re cheap for a reason. Medium priced places are just charging for normal services.

    • Check what kind of person is in their online reviews. If it’s a middle aged man talking about how beautiful the “girls” are, skip. If it’s a Karen complaining about how they used CBD oil, it’s probably fine.

    • Strip malls in general seem to attract this business niche, too. I’m not sure why.

    If you’re normally comfortable getting a massage naked, consider keeping your underwear on for your first visit with a new practitioner.

  • DrSoap@lemmy.world
    47·
    8 天前

    So I get massages a lot. I’m a lady but its a pet peeve to hear someone getting tugged off in the next room. I’m not rich so I often go to places that run specials or discounts. I figured it out. Its a rub and tug place if they have curtains in the windows and it’s a straight massage place if you can see into the waiting room. People aren’t embarrassed to be seen waiting for a massage. They are not as excited for you to be seeing them go into a happy ending place.

  • TheDoozer@lemmy.world
    43·
    8 天前

    So this probably doesn’t help (except to back other people’s experiences), but there was an asian massage place across from the place I got oil changes and tire swap/rotations (as stud to normal and back). I went there a couple times (first was weird about tipping, but I figured it was a communication issue), got comfortable with it, and the third time the lady put her hand on my junk and just raised her eyebrows. I slowly shook my head, and she went back to a regular massage. That was the last time I went there.

    My wife was actually super upset. Not at me, but for me, saying I had been sexually assaulted. I had to explain that while technically that might be true, I was not in a position of vulnerability, she was just doing her thing (and I was clearly in the wrong place), and I get to define my own experience.

  • Zannsolo@lemmy.world
    421·
    8 天前

    I’ve only had it offered one time and it was at a placey MIL suggested when I was in town. I usually go to cheaper Asian massage places too.

    So towards the end of the massage she tapped my dick through the towel and said you like? I said no and couldn’t wait to tell my MIL where she sent me.

    My FIL went there for science after and confirmed my story and says he also said no but I have doubts.

  • Edges@lemmy.zip
    36·
    8 天前

    I…never knew this was a real thing.

    I don’t think there is any easy way out besides going to the same backup place and hoping they’ll remember your preference.

  • DudeImMacGyver@kbin.earth
    21·
    8 天前

    I never have but I do get massages: Stick to licensed therapists in places like sports clinics, reputable spas, and actual massotherapy businesses and this shouldn’t really be a problem.

  • Diddlydee@feddit.ukEnglish
    171·
    8 天前

    I mean, you could just book one of the many normal licensed sports therapists instead of the shady wanky ones maybe?

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
    15·
    8 天前

    This is such an odd problem. Are massage therapists not licensed in your state? I haven’t ever run into that - I am a lady and prefer a male massage therapist, and nobody has ever been any sort of unprofessional. Husband is a man, prefers a female massage therapist and same - he jokes about it but it doesn’t happen with legit places. My brother in law and his wife go to a Korean bathhouse that looks sketchy but they say it’s similarly very safe, professional and no sex stuff. Because they don’t want to lose their state license. If massage is regulated in Florida I don’t understand how it’s not regulated everywhere.

    I’d probably tell the manager on your way in that you want massage! Only massage, nothing extra.